why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
