great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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