so let's talk penis.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
