my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
