we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
