So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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