you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
