Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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