you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
