i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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