yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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