what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Randomize
