If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
