Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
