so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
