Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
