found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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