i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
