i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
