Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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