I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
