honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
