There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I have post one night stand depression
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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