Porn is love you can see.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
