am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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