The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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