White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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