hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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