he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
