So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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