We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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