Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
