so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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