i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
