She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
