I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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