i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
