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i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
