how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
