so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
