and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Couch. On fire.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
