i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize