mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
