Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
