Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
