she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
