For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
