so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
