i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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