that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
