its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
