Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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