Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
